I know someone who is kind and considerate. He gives his time generously, usually putting others' needs before his own. It's his job to do this—but it seems like a natural extension of who he is.
That ethos has brought him reasonable success in his professional life. Is he fulfilled? That's harder to answer. He can be envious of what he aspires to. I used to think that was OK—that it was perfectly reasonable to be envious of the person you aspire to become.
He shared this story recently.
After getting petrol one morning, he returned to his car to find an elderly man wandering the forecourt, looking lost.
“Excuse me, can you help me?”
“Of course. What do you need?”
“I’m old, bloody dementia. I can’t remember how to unlock the petrol cap.”
“Which car is yours?”
“The white Commodore.”
My friend found the lever, asked how much petrol he needed, added some, then went inside and paid. The elderly man went on his way.
I asked him later how it made him feel.
“Both sad and happy,” he said.
When I see my friend, I often see the same thing. Happiness and sadness.
I wish he would treat himself like he treats most everyone else.
Nick
