The perfect handshake

Losing the art of genuine engagement

No, it’s not what you’re thinking. Please.

The formula for a perfect handshake is surprisingly difficult. You have to approach, stand, look, engage, squeeze, time, and release in exactly the right way—otherwise it gets fucking weird. And skipping it altogether? Not an option.

Then the awkward letting-go phase. There’s always one who grips too hard and hangs on too long—the alpha lion beating his chest, challenging you to stay engaged when all you want to do is ghost.

We’re in the male domain here, but engagement has shifted, hasn’t it? Interpersonal relationships in the wild have had centuries to evolve. Online? Not so much.

People tweet in ways that offend. Peddlers build empires that feel completely false and somehow sell things you wouldn’t give away. WhatsApp messages arrive daily that, at first glance, read as rude and in-your-face.

The lowercase movement grinds — which is why, for this publication’s title, I use lowercase—but you know what I mean. The internet wasn’t built for cordial introductions. It is a town square.

I tripped last night, responding to “Hi, how are you?” with “G’day, I’m good.” Thirty years ago it would have been “Hello, fine thanks, and how are you?” Consider me conditioned.

People like us like people like us. (An often used quote.)

And the perfect handshake? Today, naturally, a handshake is usually seen as a threat more than a disarming form of intimacy and parity. Keep shaking!

Nick

Photo by Bekky Bekks on Unsplash