Patrick Patterson vs S Waugh
A Saturday short story
This was written in 2013. My writing was bad. It was just lucky that I had excellent, patient editors. For context, it was during back-to-back Ashes series. The references to Michael Clarke were from the first Test at the Gabba. Jimmy Anderson had got under his skin!
Richard Burton, the famous Welsh actor, was ill-advised to return to his first wife, Elizabeth Taylor, after an earlier divorce. Taylor’s penchant for marriage was insatiable; in all, she was married eight times, to seven different candidates. One imagines Jimmy Anderson will be less accommodating if Michael Clarke ever comes knocking again.
As a captain defending his troops, Clarke’s response to Anderson in the dying stages of the first Test was unavoidable, though the choice of content—threats of physical harm—was ill-advised.
Obliged to stand by a teammate, he delivered the well-versed serve; more importantly, though, he realised the landscape had suddenly changed. The smug, unforgiving English team were on the ropes, and it was now or never. In poker speak, the preferred language of his leg-spinning master, he had to be all in. Johnson’s money was already in the middle of the table, and Clarke needed to be alongside his speedster.
All in he was, to the point of ending an already fragile relationship. The direct threat and aftermath have laid to rest any hope of reconciliation; this partnership is done and dusted. Unlike Burton, coach and captain have no interest in third-party counsel, or kiss and make up.
Fast, or in this case very fast, bowlers drive a pack mentality. This mindset can permeate the entire team, often without them realising.
Australia pummelled opposition through the ’70s with Jeff Thomson, Dennis Lillee and co terrorising not just England but the West Indies and others as well. Later we saw the return serve when the West Indies employed their own assault team that ruled the cricket world through the following decade.
The short story
My own experience of this was as a bit-part actor, watching on from the relatively safe confines of short leg in county cricket.
Lancashire played the 1989 touring Australians directly after their crushing Test victory at Headingley. Literally the day afterwards—and celebrations had gone on long and late in the Australian dressing room the previous night.
The anomaly in the game was the request made by both of Lancashire’s overseas players to play. Both of them happened to be opening bowlers with extreme pace, and skill.
The peerlessly talented Wasim Akram and peerlessly rapid Patrick Patterson both had good reason to play. Unbeknownst to me at the time, they each had a score to settle with a member of Australia’s middle order.
Patterson was still smarting over a run-in he’d had with Steve Waugh on the West Indies’ recent tour of Australia. And Akram was keen to get up the nose of Dean Jones, just because that was the sort of reaction Deano elicited from most fast bowlers.
What followed, after we stumbled to be 184 all out on day one, is easily the best cricket watching I have witnessed in my career. And I had a front-row seat, only metres from the action.
Patterson made early inroads with two wickets in three balls at the top of the Australian order – Mike Veletta was one of his victims after spooning a catch to me at short leg. A partnership followed, then a double break was made, bringing the aforementioned batsmen to the crease.
The eight or so overs to stumps were remarkable. Raw fast bowling, fearless batting, and both verbal and silent intimidation. The intimidation went both ways, bowler to batsman, batsman to bowler; for me it was a case of keep your head down, avoid eye contact, and watch it all play out.
Patto was steaming in and sometimes bowling at Waugh from considerably fewer than 22 yards. The Australian gave as good as he got, never backing away and meeting the assault head-on, both with his bat and his wit.
Those runs should be added to the Tests stats of Waugh and Jones because I doubt whether they’d have faced many more hostile spells of bowling than late on that day in Manchester.
Back in the present, the question arises: will England galvanise in the face of the overt hostility dished out by their opponents, and will Clarke remain comfortable with his new enforcing role?
Both captains are being pushed away from their preferred modus operandi; Clarke moving to the role of standover enforcer, and Cook, who must adopt a more pugnacious approach, urging his charges to return fire where required.
A fascinating Test match is around the corner. Will the city of churches quell the Australian fire? Will its serenity serve to bring some calm back into proceedings? The hosts will be hoping for the former; the tourists should come out swinging, and Richard Burton should have settled for just one crack at Ms Taylor.
Nick
