Full kit wanker

Same kit, completely different energy. Viva, World Cup 2026

This post started at the PGA Championship in Philly and resurfaced this week at the Travelers Championship in Connecticut.

I'm fortunate to have been to many pro golf tournaments—you probably know by now that I have an unhealthy obsession with the game. Playing whenever I can, watching on TV, and going to tournaments where possible. Previously, I would have been living in New England at this time of year and would no doubt have wandered out to TPC River Highlands. Sadly, that's no longer an option. So TV it will be.

The full kit wanker (FKW)? Oh yes, on full view in Cromwell, as they were in Philadelphia. The one thing you cannot do at a PGA Tour event is play golf; instead, you watch players who can actually play, play golf. Touring professionals who would beat you blindfolded. So why do fools dress up like they're off to their Saturday morning game at the local course? Because they're full kit wankers. A polo shirt is acceptable, but not really welcome. Golf trousers over normal shorts is just plain fucking stupid. Golf branded caps? The reason pros wear a Titleist cap? They get paid. Wake up, mate. And the finishing touch: the complete full kit wanker who parades their FootJoy Premiers rather than a pair of ordinary sneakers. Shoot me.

To demonstrate balance, there is a place for the FKW. The beautiful game is in town, and full kit legends are everywhere. It’s been refreshing—male-to-male embracing, Scottish fans reminding Boston of what it used to be, supporters from around the globe coming together as one.

As a prominent Substacker said, “The beautiful game generates a beautiful by-product — togetherness.” Funny he felt compelled to include the football translation.

Same kit, completely different energy. One’s delusional. The other’s glorious. Context is everything.

Nick