A free customer
Sometimes you have to earn the right before you sell the window!
Treat your customers as hostages, and watch them walk. It might take a while, but they always end up leaving. A message to oneself.
Right now at PlayStats, we’re in the customer acquisition phase—which sounds wrong. This is the more difficult stage for me personally. I play better with familiarity than outreach. But this is all part of it.
It reminds me of a priceless door-to-door sales story to bring the house down.
A former schoolmate—between university and a proper job—ended up taking a door-to-door gig selling double-glazing. July is not the best time to be selling heat-saving windows in Manchester.
Brock was in the sprawling South Manchester suburb of Burnage. The first day went badly, the second worse. Wednesday, he thought—fuck it, time for a change of tack.
The first house had a high gate. Normally signalling a psycho dog. Skip, or go all in. He went all in. We'll call the owner CRAZY LADY — CL.
Four firm raps on the front door.
CL: Who the fuck are you banging on me front door?
Brock: Hello, I’m with the council. Have you been ignoring the letters?
CL: What fucking letters? If I had ‘em, you know where I’d jam ‘em.
Brock: We’ve been sending letters for the past month about the gas leak.
CL: (crazy meter shifts from 10 to 8) What gas leak?
Brock: There’s a major leak from the main under your property. We’re going to have to dig up your front garden—about 15 feet down. For the next six weeks, you’ll need to park your car down the street.
CL: (crazy meter moves to 12) You won’t be digging up nowt. I’ll be locking me fuckin’ gate and leaving Norman off his lead. Good fucking luck with that.
Norman sounded like he was of German heritage.
Brock: You have a very nice gate, and I’m sure Norman is incredibly friendly—but if you lock it we’d have to knock it down. I really don’t want to cause any more property damage than we already will. This is a safety issue.
CL: (visibly shaken, indecipherable. Norman still barking.)
Brock: (the sinker) Sorry—I’m just kidding. I’m actually out here representing Anglian double-glazing windows. We’re doing an installation down the road and offering surrounding houses free consultations. My boss told me to ask everybody if they wanted new windows.
CL: (crazy meter down to 3) Well, I have been thinking about new windows.
Acquisition, it turns out, might be just finding your own version of the gas leak. I’ll give it go. Onya, Brock.
Nick
